Remember When
by julia-neHH
Summary: New Year's One shot. Why did I ever let the hold on you ever go? Now I spend my days wondering and grieving to see you again. Three years. ***Remember when (push rewind) by Chris Wallace. Anon request :)


**Late New Year's one-shot... It was are request then I turned into two request and I kinda changed it up a bit. (two birds in one shot). Hope you like it and as always Leddie is the best. Tada! Oh and reviews. The song is not mine. It belongs to the wonderful Chris Wallace. Called - Remember When( Push Rewind) give it a listen. I do not in anyway own HollyWood Heights.**

**Stay True,**

**Leddiexx**

* * *

**Remember When**

"Eddie! Eddie! Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!"

I close my eyes and smile at the constant chants of my fans urging me to come out. I shake my head and exhale to let the moment in. I huff and clasp my hands together.

This is it.

This is my last show and my first world tour will be done. The feeling is amazing and I feel accomplish. My career took off quickly and before you know it I was done with my first album and getting ready for my first tour. My fans are phenomenal and supportive. I love each and every one of them. They're the reason why I'm here in the first place.

I look up and a small smile appears on my face. Mom, I wish you were here. I miss you. Dad misses you. How could've you just left us like that? No goodbye and no last words reassuring me everything will be okay. I still remember the last words you told me. "Behave." I have tried so hard to do so. Your last smile after you left the movie premiere. It will be engraved in my heart forever.

I down cast my eyes and pick up the necklace with my fingers. The necklace she gave me before I left off to chase my dreams. Before everything went down-hill between us. I've haven't seen her for three years. And I miss her. All those pictures, all those times with her and this necklace are the only piece of evidence that keep her memory in me. I'll never forget her.

Loren.

My childhood best friend. The girl whose broken heart I tried to heal. The only person who could manage to make me smile even when times are rough. My love. My first love. How could I have let her get away? How did I ever let her go? There's not a day I don't think about her. The love I have for her is so strong that all my past relationships have been a big disappointment. Nobody will ever compare to her. One of a kind. The star that could only illuminate my world. Why did I let her go?

I was seven and she was 3 when I first met her. She lived right across from me with her mother and father. I remember when my parents invited them and she shyly hid behind her mother. It took a while for both of us to break the ice. But I slowly began to talk to her and she opened up. I found out how amazing that little girl was. And the later years I had the privilege to watch her grow into an awe-striking human being.

Her big hazel eyes sparkled when I played a song for her. The way she never ceased to smile when she discovered something new every day. We befriended and we became close. She was the little sister I never had. I was protective over her. And the following years with her are the best years of my life. I still remember when I joined her on her escapade all the way to New York. Her parents had divorced and that left a devastated and heart broken Loren. She wanted to find answers as to why Nora and Trent called it quits.

She was 13 at that time. And I somehow managed to get away from L.A. to New York without our parents finding out. We drove for hours to get there and when we did we searched crazily finding her father. She had somehow miraculously overheard her father saying he was staying someplace close to Manhattan. We found him and only to find the most heart breaking discovery.

He was with another woman. And he was holding what I assume was the woman's ten year old son. We were both in my car that was soon about to stop working. I looked over at Loren and she was biting her lips and on the verge of tears. She smiled and nodded down casting her eyes to her lap. She clutched the hem of her floral dress and cleared her throat.

"So I guess we weren't good enough."

She looked back at them and Trent was now giving a piggy back ride to the kid. He twirled him around and hugged him tightly. A few tears rolled down on her cheek and I sat there painfully looking at her. She laughed bitterly.

"He never even held me like that."

"Loren…" I got a hold of her hand.

"Let's go home. We shouldn't be here."

I nodded and drove away from that small restaurant. From the place where Loren's heart shattered into a million pieces. We had stayed sleeping on the car that night and while she was sleeping I had answered all the millions calls Nora was giving me. I told her everything that happened and she began crying. Crying for her little girl. A few hours later, my parents had made it to New York and we were taken back to L.A. On our plane ride Loren was quiet the whole time. She looked off into the small window and stared into the night sky.

"Hey Eddie…?"

I was looking at the seat in front of me when I heard the soft and broken call of my name. I turned my gaze at her and she smiled.

"Promise me something."

I nodded and she looked back at me. Her eyes were glossy.

"Never leave me."

I nodded again and smiled. "Never." She looked at my eyes for any hesitation and sighed when she found none. I made a promise to her and I broke it. Even up to this day I still ever regret leaving her. I promised her I would never leave her. Yet here I am, not seeing her for three years. How are you? How's life? Do you hate me? Do you think you'll ever forgive me? I know I can't.

I shake my head and turn into a lighter memory of her. High school. My senior year and her freshman year. I will always be four years older than her, but she will always be four years more mature than me. Back then my parents were still the legendary duo and they had made me an offer to go touring with them on my eighteenth birthday. But I wanted to stay. For Loren. And I did just that. All the trouble we got into. Well, all the trouble I get her into but in the end I took all the blame. We pulled pranks on everyone and sometimes we went around other kids houses throwing rolling papers on their houses.

"One of these days we are so going to get caught." Loren was looking everywhere and signals me that the zone was clear. I chuckled.

"Hey we're doing it for a good cause. You saw how that kid pushed Adam away. He needs to pay."

"Oh boy. Eddie Duran when did you become the avenger of all those victims? I'm totally with you though."

"Don't even ask me. You know very well when." She laughed understanding what I meant. Adrianna Masters had publically humiliated her. Bad idea though, she did it while I was there. Nevertheless, the damage she caused Loren was done. That same day she broke into tears and I held her there looking over at Adrianna. After the death glare I gave her, she left running. She did continue to harass Loren. Only when I was there she would turn the other direction. Soon Loren was able to take in her insults and she became immune to Adrianna's snappy remarks. She was jealous of Loren. That was the only reason why she would attack her. Even up to date we still don't know why she would have this hatred towards her.

Once we even stole her dad's car when he came to look for forgiveness from Loren. I still remember that night, it was four months after we went to NY and that night he came. I stole his keys and we made a run for it. I drove wherever the road took us and that same night we found our spot. Over our sacred hill. The one where we will come in the future to forget about everything. The night was breath taking and the stars complemented the full moon. We stayed over well a good hour staring at the sky. We didn't say anything. It was the kind of silence that spoke for itself. No words were needed to describe how peaceful and happy we felt. I stared over at Loren and she had her eyes closed. A small smile was on her face and she looked beautiful.

That night I began to feel something else than just brotherly love towards her. Something more bloomed within me. That was the night where I began to view Loren as the girl who has always been with me. Through thick and thin.

I fell in love with her. She was fifteen and I was nineteen. But I fell I love with her. At the same time my career was sky rocketing. I became a "sensation" over the net and had fans worldwide. I was intrigued and inspired to go for it. I did it all by myself with the help of Jake. My parents were alongside me supporting me. And she always had a smile on her face urging me to keep going.

But what happened?

She was sixteen when I left. I left her to chase my dreams. When in reality she was my dreams. The one I always wanted. Fame didn't catch to me and money was not something I stated proudly. I was doing something I loved, making music. But for what? When the one who I wanted wasn't with me. I was stupid for ever letting her go. What was I thinking when I went over that plane? And every single time I visited L.A. she was never there. Either on vacation or internships she was doing. Three years without seeing or even hearing her voice.

I clutch the necklace and sighed. This is it. I guess. This is how it turned out. I let her go and now I pay the price. Every day I sit on my chair drinking and remembering all those days and nights with her. Remembering how I took her to my prom. I didn't want to go but she sort of demanded me too. I wasn't interested in any other girls but her. So I took her. The corsage I had on my hand instantly dropped to the floor when she walked out of her room. A white dress that defined her curves and it was flowy at the button. She didn't have a lot of makeup on but her lips were red. She was shining. She was the star of attention when we stepped into the gym. And her beauty hypnotized every boy there. Honestly, I was jealous when some guys pulled her in the dance floor and instinctictly I pulled her into my arms and we began slow dancing.

"I told you it was going to be fun."

It was twelve o'clock and we were walking back to her house. I chuckled and gave her my jacket when she shivered.

"Only because you were there."

She blushed and cleared her throat. I got a hold of her hand and slowed our pace. I want to savor this moment. The moment where I felt that she maybe held the same feelings as me. We were in the front porch of her house talking. I didn't want to leave and she didn't want me to go just yet. She leaned down and pressed her head on my shoulders. Intertwining both her arms on my arms. I leaned back and smiled. Because that's how it was supposed to be. I was never to let her go and she would hold on tight on me.

But I didn't. And now I'm here thinking about that night and all those others days where I could've told her how I felt. I am left with a void of emptiness and no satisfaction of the one I love being with me.

"Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!"

I snapped back to reality when I heard the chants of my fans and some one placed their hand on my shoulder. I looked over and chuckled.

"Hey Pops."

"Eddie. Are you ready to own this?"

"Never been ready. But…"

"You miss them."

"Yes."

"Well just know they will always be here for you. Your Mom and Loren, they're so proud of you." He smiled. "But not as much as me." I laughed heartfully. Shaking my head, I let go of the necklace with the blue and red dog tags. Midnight Blue represents me and how Loren called me her dark savior. Ruby Red represents Loren and how she's filled with passion and love. Fits us perfectly.

"Go get 'em boy."

My dad patted my back and pushed me towards the stage.

The screams soared as I walked to the microphone in the middle of the stage. I grabbed it and laughed at how enthusiastic they were tonight.

"How are you guys doing?"

"Woooooooh!"

"Well it's definitely a beautiful night. And it's New Year's."

Three years.

Three long and stressful years without her.

They all quite down when I cleared my throat. I clutched the microphone and scratched my head.

"C'mon Eddie! No need to be nervous!"

I chuckled lightly and turned to look at whoever screamed. Then a girl caught my attention. She looked familiar. I squinted my eyes to get a better look but some other girl turned her swiftly around and I wasn't able to recognized her. Definitely familiar. I let it go and turned to the audience.

"So I usually perform songs from my album before the end. And then at the last few minutes I sing any new songs I have. But today is going to be different." I sighed and smiled towards them. "I will be singing this new song I wrote and it's about a very special girl who holds a big place in…" I placed my hand over my chest. "My heart."

"Awwww!"

I smiled and the girl who caught my attention smiled towards me. Who are you?

"Don't worry it's not sad. Kind of upbeat. Don't want to make your New Year's depressing." I signal Eric to begin the bass. I shake my head and smile.

_I'm sitting with an empty glass and a broken heart,_  
_Thinking to myself what have I done,_  
_Cause as my future got bright we started losing light,_  
_And I couldn't see that you were the one,_

_So can we push push push rewind,_  
_Go go back in time,_  
_When we were kids sneaking bottles of wine,_  
_Take take take me back, I wanna go back,_  
_Back to what we had!_

_Do you remember when we started this mess,_  
_My heart was beating out of my chest!,_  
_Remember when we stole your dad's car,_  
_I never thought we'd take it that far,_  
_Oh we were flying so high, yeah partners in crime,_  
_So why'd we ever say good bye?,_  
_Remember when we, when we, had it all_  
_Do you remember when..._

_Wish I was still the only one running cross your mind,_  
_I guess I just want you to know_  
_Oh from your ruby lips to your fingertips,_  
_I can't believe I let you go,_

_So can we push push push rewind,_  
_Go go back in time,_  
_When we were kids sneaking bottles of wine,_  
_Take take take me back, I wanna go back,_  
_Back to what we had! Do you remember when we started this mess,_  
_My heart was beating out of my chest!,_  
_Remember when we stole your dad's car,_  
_I never thought we'd take it that far,_  
_Oh we were flying so high, yeah partners in crime,_  
_So why'd we ever say good bye?,_  
_Remember when we, when we, had it all_  
_Do you remember when..._

_I'm hanging by a thread,_  
_I'm tearing at the seams,_  
_Holding on to what we used to be! and I should let you go..._  
_But I just won't give up up up up up up up!_

_Push push push rewind,_  
_Go go back in time,_  
_When we were kids sneaking bottles of wine,_  
_Take take take me back, I wanna go back,_  
_Back to what we had! Do you remember when we started this mess,_  
_My heart was beating out of my chest (my heart was beating out of my chest! )_  
_Remember when we stole your dad's car,_  
_I never thought we'd take it that far,_  
_And we were flying so high, yeah partners in crime,_  
_So why'd we ever say good bye?,_  
_Remember when we, when we, had it all!_  
_Do you remember when?_

I smiled and the crowd screams. For you. For you Loren.

The next two hours of my concert were a haze.

"Thanks for coming and goodnight! Also… Happy New Year's! Make sure to catch the fireworks in the next hour. 2013 here we come!"

They all screamed and I jogged backstage. I grabbed a towel and wiped the sweat off. I breathed heavily. Jake and Pops came rushing back to me.

"You did amazing man! They love you."

I looked over the crowd and smiled. Nodding my head I looked at Pops. He had a devilish grin. I pressed my eyes together and eyed him.

"What happened? Nora is giving you a surprise later?"

He shook his head. "No. Not precisely. You would never guess who came today to see you." A smile appeared on his face and Jake nodded. Confused, I stared at them.

"Who?"

Pops looked back and urged Jake to go away. He patted my shoulder and left with Jake. I turned around to see them go. Shaking my head I chuckled and turned back around. Picking up the towel, I rubbed my face.

"Hey there rockstar."

The towel dropped and I stared into her beautiful eyes. I was left speechless and the only thing I did was stare at her. Those three years have been good to her. She looks amazing. Her hair is in a curly bun and like always, light makeup. She was wearing a black dress that hugged her figure and I couldn't help but notice how much she has grown as a woman. Her smile is the same and she's shining. She's the same Loren I saw three years ago.

"Cat got your tongue?"

She stepped closer and her smile widen. She bent down to get a better look of my face. I blushed a deep red and cleared my throat.

"Loren?"

"Yup. The one and only."

She laughed and caressed my cheek. My heart beat increased and I smiled. I grabbed her wrist and stroked it with my thumb.

"They love you."

I nodded. Three years gone to waste. And here you are. You should hate me. For ever leaving you.

"I've missed you."

She looked at me in the eyes and I held my breath. "Me too." I sighed and remorse strikes my face. She cupped my other cheek and leaned up to press her forehead against mine.

"I'm sorry for ever letting you go…"

"None of that tonight. And you didn't leave me. I knew you were always coming back. I knew you couldn't stay away from me."

I chuckled lightly and kissed her forehead. "How have you been?"

"Horrible."

She laughed and sighed. "How so?"

I placed my hands on her cheek and she bit her lip in anticipation. I leaned in. All those feelings I hid from you. I'm pouring them out to you. You feel the same way right? I love you. I never stopped. "I couldn't do this." And our lips met for the first time. Dreams and whenever I was in cloudnine picturing myself doing this.

Reality is always better than dreams.

I parted from her and her face was flushed I grabbed her hand and led her away from this place. Alone to where we should be. I texted Jeffrey to do something for me. And soon we were on our way to my apartment. I held her hand all the way there.

Because I never did let her go. She was somehow always with me. Supporting me. And even though I was three years without seeing her. My heart was always with her.

Meant to be.

My love for her is like a diamond in the sun. And diamonds are forever. Because, though I made one stupid mistake, that was only to test and give a taste of how life would be without her. Lonely and incomplete. She belongs with me. I never did let her go. She never let me. She held on tight just like she promised and came back to my arms.

This time.

This time I'm never losing my hold on her. And just like always no words were needed to be said. The silence and quiet serenity wrapped us up. And it felt like it was yesterday that I went into those crazy adventures with her. It felt like it was just yesterday that we were walking down the pavement and I held her hand. Like all those times we ventured out to our spot and we just laid there. Hypnotized by the night sky and beautiful scenery.

She's mine.

She was bound to ever since I realized how much I love her. And now nothing else matters but just her. Because after all she's my world. We were on the elevator and she had a tight lock on my hand. Afraid of losing me. I opened my door and told her to cover her eyes. She complied and excitedly smiled. She always did love surprises. Specially mine. I led her to my balcony and she was speechless as she saw rose pedals everywhere and candles making a square around the balcony. She covered her mouth when she looked over at the middle of it. There laid a striped blanket and a bucket of wine laid there along with wrapped sandwiches. She hugged me and kissed me lightly. I chuckled and eagerly returned the kiss. And it felt like I never left. We're not strangers. We're still the best childhood friends. We're still the guy and girl who loved each other secretly.

We sat on the blanket and she savored her sandwich. Pastrami. Her favorite. And as the night shined, she was brighter. Her beauty glowing and the child that lives within her came out. We talked relentlessly. Catching up with those three years. And like me, she was never able to move on.

"What time is it?"

She took a bite of her food and I took out my phone. I smiled as I stared at the screen.

"20 seconds till midnight."

She put the wrapping paper down and stood up. Kicking off her heels she grabbed my hand and pulled me up. She walked towards the edge of the balcony and dragged me along. She halted and I wrapped my arms around her. She melted in my embrace and I inhaled her sweet scent.

"Remember when you said you were going to protect me from anything?"

"I'm still keeping that promise."

"Remember when we went to NY to look for Trent?"

"I still hate him."

"Remember when you sang Ring around the Rosy to me to stop making me cry?"

"Like it was yesterday."

"Remember when you we first met and I was afraid of talking to you."

"I cracked the ice and you talked endlessly and I so much wanted a mute button."

"Remember when you took me to your prom?"

"And I felt like killing every guy who looked at you."

"Remember when we stole Trent's car and every midnight we used to go around bullies houses?"

"How could I forget?"

And queue the fireworks. We both looked up and Loren squealed when I turned her around and kissed her lips.

"Happy New Year."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around me. "A new year with you." She pulled me again into her lips and slowly parted away from me. She exhaled and smiled. I smiled back and pressed my forehead against hers.

"Remember when I told you I love you?"

I didn't say another word. And she smiled at me. The fireworks were behind us making the sky its canvas for its beautiful art of different colors and patterns. And as she's looking at me. I realized this is her way of saying I love you. This is her way of showing how much I mean to her. And this is my way of showing her how much I can't survive without her.

"Remember when I said I love you too?"

I pull her into a passionate kiss. Our mouths move rapidly and all those years of loving her are flowed out with this kiss. Her hold on my neck tightens and I place my hands on her waist. She cups my cheek and smiles between our kiss. We part away and breathe heavily. She kisses me lightly before I turn her around and we watch the sky illuminate with the endless mixture of colors.

Because it's you and I.

Childhood friends and lovers.

Three years are long forgotten.

I've missed you.


End file.
